Post a joke

[Ohiosnowbird]

 

[Oldgator73]

View attachment 172296

Not long before I retired from the AF I was on the aggressor team for exercises. I was 48 years old. On one of the exercises I climbed a tree and ambushed the vehicle the commander was in. They had to back a flatbread truck against the tree and put ladder on the bed to get me out of the tree.

 

[Oldgator73]

Advice from An Old Farmer
Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
Keep skunks and bankers at a distance.
Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.
Words that soak into your ears are whispered… not yelled.
Meanness don’t jes’ happen overnight.
Forgive your enemies; it messes up their heads.
Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
It don’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
You cannot unsay a cruel word.
Every path has a few puddles.
When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
The best sermons are lived, not preached.
Most of the stuff people worry about ain’t never gonna happen anyway.
Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
Live a good, honorable life… Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
Don ‘t interfere with somethin’ that ain’t bothering you none.
Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a Rain dance.
If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin’.
Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin’.
Always drink upstream from the herd.
Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.
Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
If you get to thinkin’ you’re a person of some influence, try orderin’ somebody else’s dog around..
Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.
Don’t pick a fight with an old man. If he is too old to fight, he’ll just kill you.
Most times, it just gets down to common sense.

 

[Oldgator73]

A blonde wanted to try out ice fishing. She went out and purchased all the gear she would need and headed to a local spot to try to catch some fish.

She went out onto the ice with her gear and after getting comfy on the stool, she started to cut a circular hole in the ice as she had seen on the internet. As she was cutting, she heard a voice from the heavens speak out, saying, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE."

The blonde was startled. She stood up and looked around but saw no one. Cautiously, she moved a little further out onto the ice and set up in a different spot. She sipped some hot chocolate from her thermos and then started cutting another hole. Again, the voice called out, seemingly from all around her.

"THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE"

Now feeling quite scared and starting to get a bit frustrated, she moved all the way to the far end of the ice and laid out all her gear, sat upon her stool and started cutting another hole. Right away, the heavenly voice boomed out, this time louder than ever, "THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!".

She jumped off her stool and looked all around her. She shouted to the heavens, "IS THAT YOU, LORD?"

The voice answered, "NO. THIS IS THE MANAGER OF THE ICE SKATING RINK. THERE ARE NO FISH UNDER THE ICE!"

Credit Goes To Respective Owner ~
Follow Us : 𝑺𝒐𝒖𝒍𝒇𝒖𝒍 𝑺𝒆𝒏𝒔𝒆 ~

 

[RRR]

Not long before I retired from the AF I was on the aggressor team for exercises. I was 48 years old. On one of the exercises I climbed a tree and ambushed the vehicle the commander was in. They had to back a flatbread truck against the tree and put ladder on the bed to get me out of the tree.

What did the commander have to say?

 

[Oldgator73]

What did the commander have to say?

He sympathized with me. I was actually older than he was.

 

[John From Detroit]

I can attest to the wisdom of at least ONE of the Old Farmer Sayings (Bee/Tractor)

 

[Chef Duane]

I was going to post a joke about OJ Simpson but I think it's too soon. I'll take another stab at it tomorrow.

 

[tlmgcamp]

I was going to post a joke about OJ Simpson but I think it's too soon. I'll take another stab at it tomorrow.

The bigger joke is that OJ's death seems to be getting more attention than the murder of NYC police Officer Jonathan Diller, father of a one year old son, by a career criminal who was out on the streets in spite of accumulating 21 arrests in his 34 years of life.

 

[Krazeehorse33]

 

[Krazeehorse33]

 

[jymbee]

 

[jymbee]

 

[Krazeehorse33]

 

[John From Detroit]

Ok this fits Earl Gray
Opened a new box of tea today This one is marked Probiotic supports good health and all that.
Well the last box was "English Breakfast". (With all the fancy claims)
New box is also English Breakfast (I likely knew that when I bought it) Same tea. Different packager and label.

 

[Oldgator73]

 

[Ohiosnowbird]

 

[Oldgator73]

 

[Krazeehorse33]

 

[Oldgator73]